


Come Back and Sing to Me

by Like_A_Dove



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, Star Wars: Episode VIII: The Last Jedi (2017)
Genre: All The Tropes, Angst, F/M, Force Bonds, Post-TLJ, Romance, Some violence because um it’s kylo ren, all the angst actually, for the love of god don't judge me, the force ships reylo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-04
Updated: 2018-01-07
Packaged: 2019-02-28 02:10:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13261404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Like_A_Dove/pseuds/Like_A_Dove
Summary: A Force bond is fairly inconvenient when neither participant wants anything to do with the other.





	1. part 1

**Author's Note:**

> 'Sup homies. I haven't written a damn thing in nearly two years. But then The Last Jedi happened and Reylo took over everything. Here goes nothing.

She stands at the door to the Millennium Falcon, sadness in her eyes. And anger. And disappointment.

He is kneeling, his father’s dice clutched in his fist, watching her with matching sadness. And disappointment. And anger. There is anger there too.

She closes the door and he looks away. They both think the same thing.

_How could you?_

**

The first assassination attempt occurs just days after the final confrontation with Luke Skywalker. There is poison in his evening meal. He barely has to look at the food on his plate before feeling a warning nudge from the Force. Kylo Ren flings it against the wall, furious. Such _cowardice._

He has Hux and a surviving but stiff moving Captain Phasma summon the entire kitchen staff out where everyone on the ship can witness the interrogation. It’s easy to pick out his would-be assassin. The man’s fear leeches off of him as Kylo walks over to stand before him, each step purposeful. The assassin’s outer bravo disappears in Kylo’s shadow, but before he can beg for mercy, his neck is snapped with the Force with a quick jerk of Kylo’s hand.

There is silence, and the fear is leeching off the rest of them now. It stretches on and on until Captain Phasma speaks up. “Supreme Leader, would you have me dispose the traitor’s remains in the trash incinerator, where it belongs?"

Then there’s a tingling in the back of his mind. A soft whispering. A gentle trace of thought. He clenches his fist. The Force bond between himself and Rey might have been amplified by Snoke’s manipulations, but it’s existence cannot be snuffed out by his death. It is not as strong as before, but it is still there. Kylo’s instincts tell him to focus on the growing echo in the back of his mind. An echo that sounds like her.

He gives a subtle jerk of his head, hardening his resolve. He doesn’t wish to hear her. See her. Speak to her. She rejected him. She left him. She chose against him.

He toes the dead assassin’s stiffening hand. “Very well.”

**

“He’s severed the connection. He is angry with me,” Rey states matter-of-factly. She opens her eyes and is met with a stricken looking Finn, who clears his throat and says, “That’s-that’s good?”

“Perhaps, with Snoke dead, it’s fading.” But she knows deep inside that’s not true. She can still feel him, somehow. She can tell Finn is nervous, uneasy. She already wishes she hadn’t told him about the bond, but Finn is her closest confidante now that…

Now that that’s that.

Finn won’t meet her gaze. “It’s just, we’re talking about Kylo Ren here. You’re chained to the mind of the Supreme Leader of the First Order!”

“Finn, _keep your voice down_ —”

“Right. Sorry. You’re chained to the mind of the Supreme Leader of the First Order!” he whisper-yells.

Rey shakes her head. “He can’t coerce information out of me or make me do anything against my will. It doesn’t work like that.”

Finn blinks. He looks worried and confused. “So, you two are just…bonded?”

And Rey can’t properly answer him, because she is still deeply unsure herself. Snoke told both her and Ben in his throne room that he had manipulated their minds, amplified the bond to create false visions—

But what if that’s all he did? Manipulate something that was already there? She shivers. Well, it doesn’t matter anymore. He’s closed off his part of the connection, forcing her to do the same. She cannot find him if he doesn’t wish to be found.

And she is still so _angry_ with him. For rejecting her. For making her feel truly understood for the first time in her life and then choosing against her regardless. For killing Snoke and making her feel safe and then offering only the impossible. She had _felt_ the conflict inside him, she had—

Finn puts a hand on her shoulder. “Well, if anyone can keep Kylo Ren out of their head, it’s you.” He gives her shoulder a gentle shake. “I mean, you _killed Snoke_.”

Rey has to force herself not to wince. Of all the ridiculous rumors to surface out of the First Order—

She’s not surprised that Ben lied about Snoke. She _is_ surprised that so many Resistance members heartily believe it. The first week after the news broke consisted mostly of dodging the barrage of rebels begging to hear the whole story. After awhile things had quieted and people had stopped asking, but Rey doesn’t like the awed way everyone looks at her. She half wishes she could tell everyone what really happened, but that failure is too heartbreaking to speak of just yet.

So Rey smiles at Finn and resists shrugging off his arm. He is kind. They all are here.

But that shadow still resides in the back of her mind. A calm, vicious storm that comforts her more then she’d ever care to admit. When she would touch it before he would rise to meet her, his face materializing in front of her, his voice calm against her biting words. There is a part of her that misses that, and she is furious with herself because of it. Now, when she reaches for that shadow, it shrinks into a nearly non-existent speck. 

She grits her teeth. She’d cut him off too. She would not reach for him anymore. She would continue with the Resistance and he would go on as the Supreme Leader of the First Order. Her enemy again.

But Rey feels the loss of Ben Solo as potently as she felt the loss of Luke Skywalker. Ben had never really been her friend but…

Ben had been something. 

**

Ignoring the bond is tiring. Keeping his mental shields so securely in place at all times laps up Kylo’s mental energy, causing him to stagger exhausted to his bed every night. He has not dreamed since the last time he saw her.

Which is good. It is easier to kill people when the planes of Rey’s face are not as fresh in his memory.

Tonight he slips easily between his black sheets, knuckles bloodied from beating an insubordinate. He had torn his gloves in his rage. Falling asleep is simple. He is so, so tired.

He wakes feeling even worse.

**  
Ignoring the bond is arduous. Sometimes Rey will be walking about the Resistance base, or working on the Falcon, or joking around with Finn and Rose, when a swirl of shadow will ease into her thoughts. Rey has to force herself not to touch it, not to push back against it. But doing so makes her head pound, makes her feel a mental fatigue she’s never had to deal with before. Besides, the shadow always fades back into that pinprick, ultimately inaccessible.

Tonight she stumbles toward her bed, eyes already trying to close. She has not dreamed since the last time she saw him.

Which is good. It’s easier to remain furious with him when the softness of his gaze isn’t as fresh in her memory.

She is asleep seconds after her head hits her pillow. She awakens more exhausted then before.

**

The first dream goes unremembered by both. They sit back to back, meditating, neither of them quite realizing that the other is there.

They both wake feeling more rested then they have in ages.

**  
“Supreme Leader—”

Kylo Ren is barely listening to his General’s briefing. His head is throbbing and it feels as if there are giant weights pressing on his eyelids. His focus is scattered. He tightens his fists from where he has them crossed behind his back. It has been more and more difficult as of late to keep _her_ out. The memory of her, her presence, that ever present light dwelling in the back of his mind—his reflection in the mirror has turned haggard lately with the effort of keeping her out.

But oh, how he wants to give in.

It’s been a year since the death of Luke Skywalker. He has not heard her voice or seen her face in a year. He had no idea the toll ignoring their Force bond would have on him in every way. He had heard of bonds of this nature from his days training with Skywalker, but had never known anyone who experienced it. He wonders every day why the Force connected them, why it chose them, why it picked them for each other. 

As Hux drones on and on, Ren takes a moment to take in in the room, the general and admirals and commanders and captains all following _him_. All ready to obey _his_ orders. The most powerful army in the galaxy, serving _him_ , with only the Resistance standing between Kylo Ren and fulfilling Vader’s legacy. He should be able to taste victory on the tip of his tongue. Except…except he is alone.

Kylo Ren has never had friends. Never needed them or wanted them. But then the Force awakened inside of Rey, and he had never felt such a pull to be near someone. 

The room full of masks and helmets fade as the memory grabs him and takes him back to the past. He’s in a small hut on a small island with a small fire, staring into the eyes of a small but fierce young woman.

“I’ve never felt more alone.” Her voice is sad, the firelight illuminating the loneliness in her gaze. He feels her frustration and desperation fluttering in the back of his own thoughts. He wishes he could choke these feelings out of her, out of the both of them, because knowing she feels so alone is unbearable.

“You’re not alone.” He leans forward, holding eye contact. She doesn’t smile, but he feels her gratitude and pleasure humming in his head. His body feels exceptionally warm. He thought it was from the fire. Now he’s not so sure.

“Neither are you,” she says, voice unwavering and firm. She holds out her hand, reaching out with trust and resolve—and he can’t remember the last time he’s truly touched anyone. “It’s not too late,” she says softly. Hopefully.

Somehow removing his glove and holding his hand out to her is easy.

“Supreme Leader, did you hear the last part of my statement?” The irritation in Hux’s voice is unmistakable. 

And then Kylo Ren grits his teeth and shuts the memory out, hands shaking and head whirling. He has to concentrate.

And although Kylo knows that his lack of focus is unacceptable, given his position, he can’t help but feel a small amount of glee when he says, “No. Repeat it for me. All of it.”

**

In their second shared dream he notices her. She is meditating, eyes shut and face worry-free. They’re on an island, the sea raging all around them. Kylo moves toward her until he’s standing right beside her, the dream making all of his movements feel slow and unhurried. As his shadow falls across Rey she visibly relaxes, exhaling deeply. Her eyes flutter open and she flicks them up, meeting her gaze with his.

There is a shudder in the Force, in his head, in Kylo’s entire body. He watches as Rey jerks, sucking in a deep breath—

Kylo Ren wakes up with a start, Rey’s name passing through his lips.

**

“Ben—“Rey jerks awake, chest heaving. The shadow, his shadow, is already receding rapidly in the back of her head and she can’t help but reach for it. “Ben,” she says again, her voice barely a whisper. But the shadow is now just that tiny speck. The sense of loss weighs heavily on her already. 

She knows that was really him in her dream. Knows his presence. She thinks she might recognize it anywhere, at this point. She is filled with questions, but mostly she just wants to know why. Why cut off the connection for a year, infiltrate her dream, and then pull himself away before she could even—

Rey gets up from her cot and splashes cold water on her face. It’s a good thing that he severed the connection, she reminds herself. She isn’t exposed to his tumultuous thoughts, doesn’t have to worry about accidentally revealing anything about the Resistance. His small shadow that still lingers in the back of her mind isn’t enough to push against. Not enough to truly feel him. Not like before. She should feel relieved. 

Instead she feels as she always does—alone.

She walks about the rest of the day in the middle of her own storm. She is fuming as she grabs her evening rations, fuming as she takes her usual spot in the common area, fuming as she rips into her stub of bread with unnecessary vigor.

Finn is staring from where he is sitting next to her, clearly concerned.

“What?” she finally snaps, mouth slightly full and breadcrumbs flying out between her lips. Finn looks alarmed, and then his resolve seems to harden. “Look Rey, please don’t take this the wrong way but…you’ve been uh, kinda in a bad mood all day. Like, a _really_ bad mood.” He leans toward her and lowers his voice. “If there’s anything you need to talk about, you know you can talk to me, right?”

Rey feels some of the storm inside of her quell. She sighs and takes a deep breath before giving Finn a nod and a half smile. “Of course. I just didn’t get much sleep last night is all.”

She can tell he doesn’t believe her by the way his eyes narrow. He crosses his arms over his chest. “Rey, if this is about, you know, that _thing_ —”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she cuts him off firmly, glaring at him.

“Come on Rey. You don’t think I haven’t noticed what’s been going on with you? You barely eat, you’re always talking about how terribly you sleep, you’re…you’re…” The look he gives her makes her chest squeeze. “You’re sad all the time.”

As soon as he says it Rey knows it’s true. She holds his gaze steadily, not bothering to speak to confirm or deny Finn’s statement. She had thought she could contain her feelings, could keep them to herself. She should’ve known they would leak out eventually. Especially to Finn, the closest friend she has here.

Ignoring the bond depresses her, in every facet of her life. 

“ _He’s_ doing his to you, isn’t he?” There is malice in Finn’s voice now. “He’s using your connection to keep you from being happy, to—"

Any warm, friendly feeling Rey might have had toward Finn for being such a good friend vanishes in that moment. “No,” she states, her voice low, firm, and slightly scary. “He’s closed off the connection but…” The memory of her dream, _their_ dream, is still potent. “He wants as little to do with it as I do.” It is a heavy thing for her to say and she is not sure why.

Finn is shaking his head, unconvinced. “Whatever this connection is between you and Kylo Ren, it’s taking a serious toll.” He places a reassuring hand on her shoulder and gives it a squeeze. “Rey, if this keeps up, if you don’t break whatever connection that exists between you two—”

“Finn, I’ll be fine, alright?” She stands up, leaving the rest of her dinner rations. She knows Finn will finish them. “I’m figuring it out. You don’t need to worry, honest.”

She turns and marches off toward her quarters before he can say anything else. She doesn’t have the heart to tell him the truth behind it all, the real reason why she can’t eat, why she sleeps for such long hours but wakes up more tired then before. It’s not Kylo Ren draining her life force. 

It’s ignoring his small speck of shadow in the back of her head. It’s that the shadow is also ignoring her too.

Finally reaching her tiny quarters with her tiny bunk, Rey sits down at the edge of it, willing herself to have more strength. She closes her eyes and breathes deeply, trying to find peace within the Force. She hits a wall, mind too distracted and unfocused. 

Frustrated, Rey grits her teeth. She hopes, wherever _he_ is, that he’s just as miserable as her.

**  
Not long after that they share their third dream.

Except it is less a dream and more a nightmare.

They are both back in Snoke’s throne room. Rey is on her knees in front of Kylo Ren, watching with a hammering heart as he bends down and picks up his lightsabor.

He walks toward her, feet steady, slowly lifting the weapon to rest against Rey’s heart. “I know what I have to do now.” His deep voice is somehow devoid of any feeling. She searches his face, feels sweat on her temples.

She pushes out, against Snoke’s power, against his control over her body. She pushes all her emotions into the man in front of her, all her hope, all her trust. “Ben,” she whispers.

Snoke is speaking in the background, but Ren can barely hear him over the pounding in his own mind. He can feel light dancing in the back of his head, small but powerful and blinding. It is hope, trust, faith. He has never felt anything as bright and overwhelming like this before.

He ignites the lightsaber. The red beam swooshes out, pulsing through Rey’s chest and coming out her back. There is pain, terrible burning pain.

They both scream.

Rey dies, and Kylo Ren watches the light fade from her eyes. The light fades in his head too.

Snoke’s delighted laughter echoes all around them and the scene fades.

Rey and Ren jolt awake.

Neither of them know whose nightmare it was.

**

Kylo feels so nauseous the next morning he can barely get out of bed.

He uses the commlink to inform Hux that he will be late to their morning council with the rest of the First Order leadership. He turns the link off before the General can say anything in his annoying, sniveling voice. Kylo sinks onto the floor.

He’d killed her. Like it’d been nothing. Like she was nothing.

He’s covered in sweat and strips off the shirt he’d been sleeping in. He tries, tries to meditate and remove that image from his thoughts. He’s not sure how long he sits there for.

If it weren’t for the gentle light buzzing in the back of his head he’d be convinced that his nightmare the night before had been truth. That Rey is dead and Snoke is waiting for him up in his throne room. His breathing shudders and something in his resolution breaks.

He reaches for her.

**

Rey is sitting in the Falcon when it happens.

She’s staring at the broken lightsaber sitting on the small table in front of her. She’s taken it apart and put it back together more times then she can count. It’s not that she doubts her ability to construct her own lightsaber—on the contrary she’s dying to design her own. Master Luke’s had been useful and resilient, a friend. But the hilt was old-fashioned, the weapon itself in need of an upgrade or two. No, it wasn’t building the lightsaber she was worried about. It was the broken kyber crystal. 

Ben’s lightsaber was made with a broken kyber crystal. She sighed. If anyone would know how to build one it’d be—

As if answering his own name, the shadow in the back of her head swells tremendously. Before thinking about the consequences, Rey immediately pushes back with her own light, heart pounding, eyes searching everywhere for him.

She stands, turns around quickly. “Ben?” she calls out, forgetting that Chewie is on the Falcon somewhere, forgetting that she promised herself she would keep him cut off too.

“ _Rey_.”

It is unmistakably his voice. It fills up every part of her mind, rings confident and clear as a bell. She turns back around, still searching for his face. “Ben!” she calls out again, this time feeling more uncertain.

The shadow draws back ever so slightly, as if wincing. “ _No need to shout_.”

And Rey lets out a deep breath and slumps back down in her seat. She knows, somehow, that she isn’t going to see him. But she’s hearing his voice again. She presses her lips together briefly to keep herself from smiling. For a moment she’s not even sure what to say. She finally settles on, “Have you been able to feel me this whole time?”

He ignores her. “ _You saw it too_.” It is a statement. He doesn’t need to elaborate, because seconds later fragments of thought that are not hers scroll through her mind. Him standing above her holding his lightsaber and their shared screams from the night before. Their nightmare.

Rey opens her mouth to reply before quickly shutting it. She sits up straight and pushes her feelings, all her light, against him. “ __Yes,” she replies, but not aloud. Her own voice echoes in her head and suddenly she can hear him breathing, can hear his pacing footsteps as if he’s in the room with her. A wave of overwhelming guilt that is not her own washes over her, so potent she almost chokes. “ _I’m sorry_.”

“ _You didn’t do that_ ,” she reassures him. She pushes back against his misery and self-hate. “ _It wasn’t real. You killed Snoke and…and you chose me_.” She remembers the way his back had felt pressed against hers, how fierce she had felt, how undefeatable. She remembers and lets him bask in it. Then she frowns. She is consoling her enemy. 

He is thinking the same thing. She can tell because she feels a brief flash of tenderness toward herself, and then severe irritation right after. A moment later the shadow recedes almost entirely.

When he’s gone she feels a weight settle onto her chest. She is alone again.

Ravenous, she gets up and marches out of the Falcon, ignoring Chewie’s call of concern. She eats her and Finn’s dinner rations. He owes her anyway.

**

They share their next dream that very night. Rey can’t control herself anymore.

“What is this between us?” Her voice is echoing across this strange landscape. Echoing, but firm. It is just them, on an island, alone. But Rey feels less alone now then she’s felt in a long time. “I thought the original connection was just an illusion brought on by Snoke.”

“Yeah, I thought so too.” He sounds annoyed, but his gaze remains steadily on her face.

“Is it something left over from him?”

Ben shakes his head. “Whatever power he held over us died along with him. This…this is something else.” He says it with reverence. It makes her heart beat faster.

“I couldn’t see you, before. I could only hear you in my head,” she says, steadily holding his gaze.

Her face is thinner then he remembered. He wonders if he looks any different to her, if she can see how sunken his cheeks have become. “I couldn’t see you either. But I don’t think Force bonds typically work like that, regardless.”

“So you think we have a Force bond then. A real one.”

“I don’t know what a ‘real one’ entails, exactly. But, yes. I’m not sure if we’ll be able to see each other anymore but we can still—”

“Feel each other.”

He nods.

_That is more dangerous _. She only thinks it, but he hears it as clearly as if she had spoken it.__

__The dream stretches on endlessly, or perhaps it’s only seconds. There is something on the tip of Rey’s thoughts, something she can’t quite make shape of because of the dream. It’s a soft understanding, though, and it makes her place a hand over her heart._ _

___It took you so long to reach for me_. She isn’t sure if she meant for this thought to be shared, but it floats on a gentle wave between their link regardless._ _

__His head jerks, eyes thunderous and hurt and so deeply, deeply betrayed. He throws the memory at her viciously. She is looking at her own dirt and tear streaked face. He is holding his hand out to her, his chin quivering with sheer anxiety. How badly he wants her to join him, how badly he wants the vision of the future the Force gave her to be true._ _

__She reaches for him and he swallows, heart leaping. Then her outstretched hand lurches for Skywalker’s lightsaber instead._ _

__Rey awakens with a jolt, and she feels his overwhelming anger, fueled by his pain, wash over her before his shadow retreats once more to the back of her mind. The hazy understanding she had felt in the dream finally clinks into place._ _

__He is still angry with her but—_ _

__She is no longer angry with him._ _

__**_ _

__Rey and a small handful of Resistance members, including Finn and Rose, prepare to land on a small frozen planet on the Outer Rim. There are new recruits and supplies waiting for them down there, and Rey practically vibrates with anticipation at landfall. She has only seen snow the one time, on Starkiller Base. It feels like a lifetime ago._ _

__But she won’t dwell on that. The shadow is small and lingering as always, and she won’t speak to him unless he reaches for her first. That is the unspoken agreement between the two of them. Instead, she’ll dwell on the mission in front of her, on how she wasn’t even supposed to be here but had suckered one of the pilots to let her take his spot._ _

__They land. When the hanger opens the onslaught starts instantly._ _

__**_ _

__Kylo Ren waits on a bridge in their massive new warship with the rest of the First Order leadership, watching Captain Phasma on a hologram. “We’ve caught them by surprise, Supreme Leader, as planned—”_ _

___boom boom boom_ _ _

__White hot beams of pain burst throughout his left leg. His hand automatically twitches for his weapon, body preparing to fight when just like that, the pain is gone._ _

__And he _knows_._ _

__Allowing the rest of the room to fade to the edge of his vision, he throws everything he has into the small dot of light always dancing in the back of his head. He reaches and reaches and reaches—_ _

__**_ _

__Rey is near delirious from pain and blood loss. Her pants are soaked with her own blood, and Finn and Rose are dragging her back onto the shuttle, ducking and dodging blaster shots the entire time._ _

__Rey’s thoughts are hardly clear. She looks up, where each arm is clutched in one of her friends’ grips. She looks down, where her nearly ruined leg is leaving a trail of smeared blood._ _

__Ben’s shadow floods into her mind, taking up every open space, every nook and cranny that resides in her head. His panic is so palpable that it takes her a moment to make sense of any rational thought from him. Waves of his terror roll over her violently._ _

___speak to me don’t you dare die where are you who has you speak to me why are you even there I am sorry Rey Rey Rey speak to me don’t you dare—_ _ _

__Rey feels warm, so warm. And calm. “I’m not going to die,” she slurs, too far gone to remember to keep it in her mind._ _

__His incapacitating relief brings tears to her eyes. “Finn and Rose have me.”_ _

__Her two friends exchange worried glances. “Who is she talking to?” Rose asks, noticing the feverish sweat soaking through Rey’s clothes. They need to get her to the medbay _now_._ _

__“Just the left leg,” Rey slurs to what seems like no one in particular, eyes beginning to flutter. “Don’t worry.”_ _

__And that’s when it dawns on Finn. He spurns himself forward, toward the safety of the miraculously still intact shuttle, Rey dragging behind him and Rose just managing to match his pace._ _

__“It’s okay,” Rey mumbles reassuringly. She breaks out into a delirious smile before her eyes shut. “It’s okay, Ben.”_ _


	2. part two

**I was lost, I was lost  
Crossed lines I shouldn't have crossed  
I was lost, oh yeah**

**Sing it, please, please, please  
Come back and sing to me, to me, me  
Come on and sing it out, now, now**

"In My Place" by Coldplay

**

Kylo Ren's anger is shifting.

It is still there, pulsing and coiling inside of him, but…

He can't bring himself to direct it at _her_ anymore.

Rey is alive. Her light still hums softly in the back of his head, dimmed and weakened. But she is getting stronger each passing hour. He feels a flash of pride at her strength, but a stab of apprehension as well. He never wants to feel that level of terror again. If her light goes out in the back of his head forever, then a part of him also dies. He doesn't know why he knows this so firmly, but their link has etched itself inside his very bones. He feels a rush of echoing warmth from her, from wherever she is.

_Why is the Force connecting us?_

The Force has not always been his friend, but he has never doubted it. He would not start doing so now.

Besides, hadn't he told Rey to let the past die? And here he is, still clinging to the dead legacies of dead Masters and dead grandfathers. _Let the past die. Kill it if you have to._

He'd murdered Snoke. What else could he kill?

**

Rey's leg aches for weeks, despite being patched up as best it could be. She walks around with a barely there limp and has taken to pouring over the ancient Jedi texts she smuggled from Ahch-To. One of the smaller editions holds passages upon passages on how to heal oneself using very specific Light techniques. But the language is dreadfully old-fashioned and difficult to interpret. Needless to say, Rey is not making much headway with her leg.

She has also scoured the Jedi texts for any mention of "Force-bonds" and found nothing.

But none of that matters anymore though, because, aside from her leg, she feels _so much better_. The color has returned to her cheeks. She devours every meal. She trains vigorously every day. Her arms and legs and middle are hardening with muscle and finally, finally she is _sleeping_. She sees him every night in her dreams now.

As she exits her quarters and makes her way to the mess hall so that she can start her day, Ben's shadow nudges her. She smiles, humming to herself, and lets her light answer in kind. And then he fades, but not abruptly like before. He recedes gently and slowly, and she knows that she can call him back so very easily.

But she doesn't.

The bond has grown sharper and more intense now that they've both hesitantly embraced it. At any moment she can reach out and feel what he's feeling, if he reciprocates. At any moment she can send a thought to him, can communicate with him, if he reciprocates. At any moment she can send him her own thoughts, her own feelings, if he reciprocates. And lately he's been reciprocating. A lot.

And so has Rey.

A slow but desperate determination is building up inside of her. There is still conflict in Ben Solo. She feels it potently now, whenever he reaches out to her. His confusion and bloodlust and loneliness fill her own head sometimes when he is not being careful.

Rey remembers her vision from so long ago, a future she had buried because it had been a supposed lie, a supposed poison leaked into her mind by Snoke. It is her and Ben standing side by side, her glowing with light, him shrouded with shadows. But her hand is clutched tightly in his. And they are at peace.

She clenches her fist, resolute. Snoke had been wrong. Snoke had _lied_.

Rey had just reached the mess hall, shoulders squared and ready for the day ahead of her, when General Organa steps into her path, Poe Dameron and a very guilty looking Finn flanking her.

"Rey." Leia Organa's tone is cheery and respectful, and Rey feels herself calm a little. Leia smiles. "Grab your breakfast and then come join us in the council room."

Rey swallows then nods quickly. "Of course." Leia turns away, Poe right behind her. Finn lingers.

" _How could you?_ " she growls. She had trusted him, told him her biggest secret—

"I'm sorry Rey." And she can tell by the emotion in his tone that he really is. "But I'm scared for you."

She scowls and brushes roughly past him, ignoring the line for rations and following after Leia and Poe instead. Her heart is pounding at the upcoming confrontation—

And then Ben is there. _Something is wrong_. His shadow probes at her, relentlessly demanding an answer.

Rey resists the urge to groan out loud. _Now is **not** the time_. And then she gently pushes back against his him. He recedes, understanding she isn't in danger and with the smug air of someone knowing they're going to find out eventually.

Rey sucks in a deep breath, attempts to clear her mind as much as possible, and follows Leia and Poe into the private council chamber, Finn right behind her. General Organa sits at the head of the small table before noticing that Rey is already there. "No breakfast?" the General says, raising a concerned eyebrow.

"Not hungry," Rey grumbles, already feeling dread work its way up her spine. She has held onto this secret for so long, and part of her is loath to share it.

Leia doesn't look surprised. She gestures for Rey to sit down then says, "Finn, close the door would you?"

Finn obeys and Rey sits.

Leia gives her a long look that manages to be both curious and cautious. "Let's not cut corners here Rey. We all know why you're here. You can be honest with me. What's going on?"

And Rey, knowing there is no use in continuing to withhold the truth, sighs. "It all started back on Ahch-To—"

**

Finally finished telling her story from beginning to end, Rey is met with three equally stunned faces.

Finn and Poe both explode at the same time.

"You didn't tell me that he _killed Snoke_ for you—"

"General, we need to get her _off this base_ —"

"You're _sure_ there's nothing in the texts—"

"I'm sorry Rey, but you're a complete and total liability—"

All General Organa has to do to shut up both men is raise her hand. Rey can't quite decipher the emotions rolling around on her face. Anger that Rey hadn't been honest until now? Hope that maybe they can get through this war after all?

"Poe," she says, eyes never leaving Rey's, "call Maz."

A few minutes later Maz Kanata blinks at them sleepily, her small eyes looking massive behind her multi-layered spectacles. "General Organa!" she exclaims when she stops blinking, all drowsiness gone. She sounds delighted. "How can I help you?"

Leia's answering smile is a little sad. "I was actually hoping you could tell Rey about your experience with the Force-bond you had."

The whole room quiets, and Rey, Finn, and Poe's eyes go wide.

Maz looks surprised for approximately two seconds before fixating her gaze on Rey. "Oh? What would you like to know?"

Rey's mouth opens and closes a few times, the months and months worth of unending questions she'd built up about this particular subject instantly leaving her mind.

Finn leans in and catches Maz's attention. "What _is_ it?"

"It's exactly what it sounds like, you dummy. It's a bond through the Force, through two Force-sensitive individuals. They can feel each other's emotions, thoughts—"

Rey's brain has finally slowed down enough for her to form words. "Yes, but _why_ does it start? How does it end? What does it _mean_?"

Maz is quiet for a moment. "There have been many debates about how one could start, but personally, I think it starts with two Force users feeling the exact same thing at the exact same time."

A memory hits Rey, sudden and unbidden.

_Two lightsabers cross, snow falling all around them. Kylo Ren has her bent back as he pushes her toward the edge of a cliff. She can feel the heat and energy buzzing from both of their blades. Her foot slips a half inch. Her mind is going a thousand lightyears a minute, adrenaline and stress pumping through every part of her. Can't die must win fight have to save Finn. Kylo Ren grits his teeth and grunts and both of their arms are shaking and there's a feeling she gets as she continues pushing back against him, a feeling coming from somewhere deep inside of her, so small amongst the chaos of battle and yet so sincere—_

_**I wish I didn't have to hurt you.** _

The room has gone quiet again. Rey clears her throat. "How do you make it…?" She trails off, suddenly feeling as if she has no more air to speak with.

But Maz Kanata didn't make it to be over a thousand years old by being stupid. "Stop it? You don't. One of you would have to die for the link to be severed. And then part of yourself dies with them. It'll be like an open wound inside your very being." A slight pause. "I should know."

Leia speaks up this time. "Can the bond be manipulated?"

The old pirate queen taps her chin thoughtfully. "Perhaps, if someone strong in the Dark Side sensed a Force bond, they could employ it to their whims. Not for very long, however. Soul-bonds are nearly impossible to corrupt. They come from the Light."

And then, completely unbidden, Rey's eyes fill with tears. Maz gives her a kind smile. "I told you once, Rey of Jakku, that the belonging you seek laid not behind you, but ahead." Then she snorts. "Bet you didn't think you'd find it with your enemy, huh?" Chuckling, she presses a button and her hologram form disappears.

Rey sniffs and subtly rubs at her eyes, embarrassed at being so emotional. Half of her wants to reach for Ben, to show him everything that she's just learned. The other half, the shy half that feels very young right now, wants to crawl in a giant hole and never come out.

General Organa stands and gestures toward the door. "Alright gentleman, out."

Neither of them protest. Finn gives Rey's shoulder a comforting squeeze on his way out, Poe a sad half-smile as they leave the room.

"I'm sorry," Rey croaks out, not able to meet the General's eye.

"For what?" Leia asks. She takes Rey's hands in hers and gives them a gentle squeeze. "When I woke up this morning my son was dead. And now, and now for the first time in a long time I feel hope. Hope for Ben." She leans forward. Her eyes… Rey notices how they soften like Ben's when they look at her. "He's tethered to a light now." The General stands and pulls Rey along with her, face beseeching. "He's tethered to you, Rey. You must go to him. You must try again—"

"No." And suddenly it's two years ago and Rey is remembering how he held his hand out to her, how he offered her everything. How _tempted_ she had been, however briefly. She might not have left with him, but she had failed to bring him to her side. He might still be conflicted, and everything inside her might demand that she seek him out, but she could not survive failure like that again. It would break her heart.

Leia's mouth firms a little, suddenly looking more like a General again and less like Ben's mother. "Rey, I know you must be daunted, but this could be what—"

"No." Rey's voice is small but steely. She drops the General's hands and takes a step toward the door, gesturing with a finger so that it swings open with the Force. "I'm sorry General. I can't. Even if you order me to… I just can't."

_Not yet._

And then she leaves and heads straight for the _Falcon_ , ignoring Finn, who had been waiting outside the door for her.

She spends the rest of the day bent over Anakin Skywalker's broken lightsaber. She still has no way to fix it. Just like she had no way to permanently fix Ben Solo.

**

Kylo Ren has convinced a whole squadron of TIE fighter pilots to desert.

It was taxing, of course, manipulating so many minds over such a small space of time. But the absence of Snoke's whispers and the presence of Rey's light has been making him stronger, making every vein in his body spark with power. His cheeks are no longer sunken and the dark circles under his eyes have faded. He eats his meals with renewed vigor. And he sleeps, he _finally sleeps_. Every night he dreams of her.

Right now Hux is furious. His perfectly slicked back hair starts to become undone as he runs about the command bridge, screaming for the traitors to be caught and hauled back for swift execution. The subordinates under him scurry to do his bidding.

And then Hux turns to Kylo. He opens his mouth as if to say something but then snaps it shut, thinking better of it. But there is something brewing in the General's intelligent gaze, something malicious and mutinous.

And then Kylo Ren realizes that there is less fear in the room. Far less then there should be. He watches the First Order admirals and commanders and captains scramble to obey Hux's frantic orders, their gazes constantly switching between their work and their furious General. Very few glance in the direction of Kylo Ren, and when they do it is with an air of scorn, not dread.

He might be the Supreme Leader, but there is no one in this room that he truly leads.

It bothers him less than it should.

_I can feel the conflict inside of you._

Kylo Ren hears the words she'd spoken to him on that elevator, and he almost reaches for her in his head so that he can truly hear her voice but—

Shame twists inside of him. Deep shame. Here he stands, a throne upstairs that belongs to him and him only and he just…

Doesn't fucking care anymore. About ruling, about how the Resistance and thus _her_ have managed to stay out of his grasp for nearly two years, about Vader and his legacy and—

He can feel the Light taking root inside of him again. It rests alongside the Darkness in him, both sides of the Force ebbing and flowing within him like gentle ocean waves. Never fully Dark but never fully Light. _Balanced_.

Kylo Ren just wants to start moving forward. And the only future ahead of him worth anything at all is alongside her.

**

Rey and Rose are deep in tech talk during some down time when Finn sprints up to them, chest heaving.

"What's with you?" Rose asks with a raised eyebrow, a hint of fondness and curiosity in her voice.

Finn bends over and puts his hands on his knees, attempting to catch his breath. "Someone…from within this First Order…is leaking plans…coordinates…weapon blueprints-"

Both young women are instantly on their feet as Finn launches into a more official explanation.

And Rey reaches for that shadow, pushing with all her might, demanding and ferocious. He answers quickly. _What?_

Rey concentrates, centers her breathing and then lets him look through her eyes, at Finn excitedly using his hands to speak "—we might have enough man power now to catch them off guard! We know when and where they're getting their supplies, and Poe wants to dispatch a team to go and—"

"How to we know this information is good?" Rose asks smartly. "It could easily be a trick."

_Oh, the information is good_. His voice is deep and soothing and pleased in her head, and Rey isn't sure she's ever heard genuine amusement come from him before.

"The info is good," she tells her friends curtly. They both hush up instantly, eyes going a little wide, as if they're realizing the implication of her words.

Rey turns and sprints away from the corridor, shouting for the General. She feels the last of her fear of failure slip away from her for good. _I'm coming for you_ , her light sings at him through their link. Ben's amusement fades and he recedes, quiet. But Rey doesn't care and she doesn't reach back out for him. She's coming for Ben Solo and she will drag him out of there kicking and screaming if she has to.

She finally feels confident that he might let her. For sure this time.

**

Like **hell** Kylo Ren is going to allow her to board his ship when it's in this particular _condition_.

He needs to take care of some of the riffraff first.

He calls an emergency meeting with all the leadership of the First Order in the middle of a night cycle. All the higher ranks that served under Snoke, that pushed for Starkiller Base, that have personal stakes in the violence and horror the First Order has sewed across the galaxy this past decade, he summons them _all_.

The room is filled with the sour taste of irritation and misgivings, and it is Hux that speaks first. "Ren, what is the meaning of this? Have you considered the hour—"

Kylo breaks Hux's jaw and nose before lobbing off his head with his lightsaber. That's when the screaming starts.

Some try to fight back, and others rush for the door. He keeps them all locked inside this room with the Force.

Captain Phasma rushes up to him, her blows furious and harsh. He stops her with his right hand, his left holding several blaster bolts aloft. A flick of his wrist and the bolts go flying toward new marks. He locks onto the Captain's mind, squeezing with his right fist. "You will fall on your own blade." And Captain Phasma whirls her massive sword around and stabs herself with swift, brutal efficiency.

It's easy to pick the rest off one by one after that. He enjoys it. The Darkness is surging up all around him, fueling every final blow. But the Light is there too, never letting his vision get too red, reminding him that each death is serving a purpose. This doesn't seem like murder. Not to him. It seems like _justice_.

**

The Resistance shows up ready to make a final stand.

All they're met with is escape pods and shuttles streaming from the First Order's main ship.

"What the hell happened here?" Poe asks, he and everyone important within the Resistance ranks watching from the main command bridge. All heads swivel toward Rey. Everyone _knows_ now.

Ben's shadow is small in the back of her head. And sluggish, as if he'd just gone through a massive spike of adrenaline and is coming back down. She nudges him and his sigh echoes all throughout her head. She gets pictures, clips of action. There is the powerful thrum of his lightsaber and shrieks of utter terror.

There is blood. On the walls the ceiling the floor the equipment—

And Rey reminds everyone in the Resistance as well as herself that even though she is mostly Light there is still Darkness inside her too. She tells them that Ben Solo has performed a coup and eradicated most of the First Order higher ups, including General Hux. The few leaders he didn't execute have abandoned ship, with the rest of the Army in confused shambles.

She delivers all this news with a satisfied smile.

The bridge is quiet for awhile until, ever the leader, Poe steps forward. "Should we try to rendezvous, then?" He is asking Rey, and she can sense his fear. His apprehension at the frightening, hulking, enigma of a man waiting for them on the other ship. When she reaches out briefly with the Force she can feel that everyone is afraid.

Everyone except her.

**

Kylo Ren feels how near she is. He is up in the Supreme Leader's throne room, a room he has barely used since coming into control. And after today he suspects that he'll never have need for it again. But still, it seems fitting for their reunion to be here. He sits at the foot of the throne, bicep bleeding and sleeve torn from a blaster, waiting.

They are communing with one another through the bond, her light and his shadow so deeply entrenched in the other that it is like he is walking down his own halls with her.

He watches through her gaze as she stops at the nearly destroyed command bridge. As she takes in the bodies, the dead faces frozen in petrified screams. He watches her speak to his mother, watches Leia Organa's face go pale at all the blood, at the smell of death. He's prepared to tell Rey that she'll probably have to defy orders and sneak away when—

_My orders are to find you_. Rey leaves the destruction of the bridge behind, following his Force signature toward the elevator. _That room? Really?_

He starts, not bothering to keep his surprise from her. Surely they wouldn't want her coming near him after everything he'd just done?

_On the contrary_. And she gives him a memory, and oh, it is of his mother. _"He's tethered to a light now. He's tethered to you, Rey. You must go to him."_

As the elevator takes Rey up and up and up, bringing her ever closer to him, she floods his whole head with her light, with her warmth and her hope and everything that is _good_. And she shows him, finally, what she's learned about their bond.

**

_Kylo Ren is bent over Rey, their lightsabers clashing as snow falls all around him. Hot blood trickles from his wounded side down his leg but he can't think about that now. He has to keep his focus straight. Win the fight take the lightsaber get off this base. His vision is going blurry as he pushes his strength into their locked blades, adrenaline and Dark power alone keeping him from passing out. But underneath all the stress of battle and the throbbing pain from his wound and oh god oh god oh god I've murdered my father, there is—_

_**I wish I didn't have to hurt you.** _

**

When Rey finally steps into that red, red room she stops, suddenly frozen in place by that _look_ he is giving her. A look that demands that she keep coming, how _dare_ she stop moving—

She runs to him, suddenly overcome with how long they've been apart, with how long its been since she's seen his face in something beyond just thoughts and dreams and memories. He has his gloves off by the time she reaches him so that he can feel the soft skin of her neck and her cheeks and how her hair is so smooth—

He bends down to meet her and touches his forehead against hers, breathing her in.

Poe Dameron and General Leia stand at the entrance, both totally unnoticed. Poe had reached for his weapon out of sheer habit at seeing Kylo Ren, but Leia places her hand over his and squeezes firmly, shaking her head. The older woman can feel the hum of the Force here, powerful and potent and…

The scavenger girl suddenly throws her arms around her son's neck and Kylo Ren (or Ben or a mix of both) brings her close, pulling Rey off her feet a little in the process.

And Leia is able to put a name to it then, what she is feeling through the Force. _Balance_. And the General knows that there will be chaos and ramifications coming their way in the next month, week, day, hour…

But for now, there is peace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off, thank you everyone for your kind words about part one! Was really cool to hear from some of my old readers that have seen me through several fandoms and ships. I hope this delivered a satisfying conclusion! Writing Kylo brutally murdering the First Order leadership brought me more joy then perhaps it should have. Anyway, this is it for this story, but I have plenty more Reylo coming up, including a couple of one-shots and a WIP, god help me.
> 
> If you liked let me know!

**Author's Note:**

> Part 2 is already mostly completed, so expect that within the next couple of days. I hope everyone likes so far. If you did, drop a comment and let me know?


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